中文翻译：

战争史......

我看到门口有一个亚马逊的箱子，"这肯定是我为了即将到来的战争从网上紧急订购的迷彩服"，然而那是我妻子订购的饼干，一场虚惊。

另一个战争故事......

我拿出我尘封已久的狙击装备，然后看到我的狗狗走过来，在我的防弹衣上撒尿，一个念头立刻冒了出来：我被俄罗斯的狗跟踪了……

英文原文：

History of war…

I see an Amazon box in front of my house… “surely my camouflage that I urgently ordered from the internet, for the coming war”… my wife had ordered biscuits. False alarm.

Another war story…

I pull out my old sniper gear. I see my dog ​​approaching to piss ** on my gillie suit. Immediately the idea comes to me: “suddenly I am tracked by Russian dogs”…